A Wolfe's Pack
by Shinsei Tonbo
Summary: Ryan had never been exactly forthcoming about his family life, save for an Uncle Ron. So when Speed tells to Eric that Ryan has a daughter, who's adopted, Eric has to take a step back a relearn everything he thought he knew about the youngest CSI. slash
1. Realities

_**A Wolfe's Pack**_

_**Rating:**_ PG

_**Author:**_ grnidshrk

_**Chapter 1- Reality Check**_

Ryan cursed himself as his tired mind strayed towards thoughts usually reserved for times he was drinking. He was glad that the department was keeping him on, even though Speedle was back from his recovery and physical therapy, but the abuse he suffered from Calleigh and Eric's indifference and the constant belittling of his skills was wearing him down bit by bit.

He had made his own home amongst the Miami DADE Criminalistics Dept-Alexx cared for him like he was her son, he had a good relationship with small chunk of the lab techs, a few friends from patrol, and he at least had some respect from Horatio. He knew not many in the department cared whether he left or not, but at least he had Alexx and Speedle. Of course no one knew about his and Speed's friendship: he hadn't wanted to use it as some sort of leverage in order to get sympathy from the people in the lab. He stood up, streching and yawning, and made his way towards Trace. He shook the depressing thoughts from his head, clearing it to begin working on the few murders that had occurred already this morning.

Ryan sighed once more as he slouched out of the locker room. He was tired, but when you have a sick child that was the norm. He hated flu season with a passion. Even if they did live in the tropics you could still catch the damn virus, especially when it's the middle of flu season and the child in public school. He wouldn't change it for the world though-he loved his dear Anastasia to pieces, ever since he laid his eyes on the little pink bundle in that alley six years ago. From then on it had been him and his little Anya. She was what kept him going in the darker times of his life. Besides that his whole little family adored her-hell, Anya and Remy must have had the best childhoods ever with so many people trying so hard to raise them like they would have liked to have been raised. They were the little lights of the family; even Speed did his best by the little girl he saw as a niece.

Remington, "Remy" Ace Wolfe, was Angelica's, Ryan's elder sister, son. She had adopted him when a girlfriend of hers' died during child birth. They had both been in college and Maria, the mother, had broken up with her army boyfriend when he had been deployed. He was killed in the line of duty. Neither of their parents would recognize the boy as their grandchild, leaving Angelica as the only person who Maria considered family to take the child in. The little boy was instantly loved and cared for in the Wolfe family.

Ryan's other sister, Adina, was Timothy Speedle's long time girlfriend. Despite the seven year age difference, they both loved each other unconditionally. Her child like mind caused him to laugh more than anything could due to his job. She was a certified genius though, with an IQ of 215, she ran circles around everyday people. She usually worked with computers, consulted with various agencies and wrote programs to keep things secret and block people out, dealing mostly with confidential things. This didn't deter her from her innocence though, the smallest of things could amuse her, her mind flying through equations or how they worked. They balanced each other out, breaking themselves out of their fixations to just relax together.

Ryan was in Trace now, trying to identify the type of lubricant found at the scene of the Miranda Jacobs murder. Speedle and Delko walked in, quietly discussing a case.

Delko merely nodded to him, but Speed spoke up, "Hey Ry, how's it going, Anya feeling any better?"

Ryan could tell Eric was confused. He didn't know of the relationship between the two and he had no idea who Anya was. Ryan smiled tiredly.

"She's alright now, she's at Adina's. I'm almost dead on my feet, she was sick for a large part of the night."

Speed winced. "I feel for ya man, you must be exhausted judging by the dark bags beneath your eyes. I still don't get how you or Angelica could raise kids by yourselves; it looks like you'd rather keel over than live some days."

Eric's mouth dropped open in shock. He didn't know Wolfe had a kid, or that he was raising them by himself! Ryan narrowed his eyes at Speed-the man knew that he had purposely not told anyone he had a daughter; he hadn't wanted anyone to judge him for what they wouldn't understand. Eric stared at Ryan as if he had grown another head. Wolfe, the stuck up rich brat Eric had thought him to be, was a single parent? He stared as Ryan closed his tired eyes and sighed, shaking his head as he answered Speed.

"Yeah well, I knew I just couldn't let her be in the system, Speed. I grew up in it, I know what it's like and I don't want an innocent girl like her having to go through something like that too."

Ryan knew that once Eric knew about Anya he'd find out she was adopted and then why he had adopted her. Besides, what was the point? It was all going to come out some time, and like Mama Ro always said, "There ain't no better time than the present."

Eric felt the little file he had of Ryan in the back of his head spontaneously combust. Everything he had hypothesized about Wolfe's childhood went up in flames, despite how well he thought he'd read Ryan. Being in the system meant he had been alone for at least some length of time-no parents, no family, nothing. He had been all alone. Eric stared at the youngest member of the CSI team, trying to make Ryan opaque, as if that would make him easier to read. Eric suddenly wanted to learn all the dark secrets Ryan hid from the small dysfunctional CSI family they had become. In fact, a thought suddenly struck him: did any of them know the real Ryan? Did the one person closest to Ryan in the entire lab, Alexx?

Speed smiled at the comical expression on Eric's face.

Deciding to add more fuel to the fire he said, "Yeah, but you have a soft spot for Anya; I mean you've raised her since you found her in the alley near Mama Ro's coming home from your classes that night. Hell, you fought tooth and nail to adopt her when you got out of the Police Academy. You forget Damien and I were right there watching as you took care of her more than Mama Ro did, and she was the one who was supposed to be legally caring for her."

He tried to hide his amusement, but it really was too funny. Eric Delko was learning what Ryan Verrill Wolfe was really like, behind the shield he wore to outside world. This was just the first step; Speedle hid the conspiring look that tried to cross his face and allowed the amusement to show instead, gaining a glare from Ryan. He'd have to tell the others who were helping. Hell hath neither fury nor strength as the women in these two men's lives. The women had finally decided to take action, it was frightening.

Eric became even more puzzled as people he didn't know were mentioned; he was already realizing that Speed had other friends he didn't know about, which seemed to include the mysterious Ryan Wolfe. But he felt as if he was getting an information overload-things, apparently, were not as they seemed. He needed a few minutes to re-organize everything he thought he knew and what he actually did know. Noticing this, Ryan chuckled tiredly as he rose off the stool to leave, giving Eric a reprieve.

"If you will both excuse me, I have evidence to give Horatio for the Jacobs case." With that Ryan walked out, leaving a stupefied Eric and a bemused Speed behind.

Eric slumped down on the stool Ryan had just vacated. His little profile of Ryan, something he had been so sure of, had been dismantled and rebuilt in the span of a few minutes. It mystified him how Ryan had been able to hide such important things from them so easily. So, being the investigator that he was, he turned his head toward someone he knew would give him at least some answers-Timothy Speedle. Eric's eyes, still filled with confusion stared at his friend, who was staring after his pseudo brother-in-law. When Speedle turned back towards him, brown eyes still amused, Eric knew somehow that he'd just tipped the world on its axis on purpose.

Eric Delko rallied all of his confusion and anger and pointed it at his long time friend. "What the hell is going on Speed? What's this all about?"

Speed cracked a grin at his friend. Hopefully this would bring about a larger understanding between the two men.

"I figured you needed to finally get to know the man behind the mask, so to speak. Ryan is very protective of himself and his family. I know you already figured out he was in foster care, and that's part of the reason he is the way he is. However, he still needs to learn to loosen up and you need to back off on the hostility front. I know you were pissed I got shot and was pulled off the active duty roster for a while, but you shouldn't have taken your anger out on him. It's kinda detrimental to the progress we, as in our family, were making with him. Hell, we're lucky as it is he's still as open as he is, butwe have Anastasia to thank for that."

Speed sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Why don't you, Ryan and I go have a few beers tonight? We can tell you some stories and hopefully I can convince him to loosen up around you and let you into the inner fold," he said.

At Eric's nod, Timothy Speedle's grin became almost luminous and he left the lab to find his youngest brother-in-law. Speed smirked as he made his way towards Horatio's office-their plan was working. He shuddered slightly as he thought about the five women who had cornered him and told him he was going to help them lock those two in the proverbial closet. Alexx, Marisol, Adina, Zurie, Angelica, Evita Delko (Eric's Mother), and Rona Wolfe were all very scary, even if they weren't in the immediate vicinity. Even without Angelica and Rona it was enough to scare him into to helping. Hell, he knew even H would have given into their demands. Speaking of which. A slow smile spread across his face as he got into the elevator to go down; maybe that wasn't a bad idea. Bringing Horatio into this mess would take some of the burden off of him and he would only get part of the blame when all of this collapsed on itself. Because only the heavens above could help them when it did collapse; after all, that is what happened to most evil machinations created by women, wasn't it?

He quickly smothered the smirk on his face as he rounded a corner to see Ryan, Horatio, and Natalia all discussing the evidence for the Jacobs case. When Natalia left, Speed made his approach. Wrapping an arm around Ryan's shoulders and leveling his gaze at Horatio he innocently smiled, causing Ryan to stare at him warily.

"H, you mind if I borrow Ryan for a minute? I need to ask him about something. Alexx needs to see you too," he said.

Horatio eyed him for a moment before turning to Ryan, "Good job, Ryan. When you're done with Speed call Tripp and go pick Daniels up."

With that, Horatio turned and left, never knowing of the trap Speed had laid for him while he was in the elevator. Speedle was NOT going to suffer alone. Ryan stared at Speed with apprehension; he had a feeling there was more going on but he had nothing to back up that theory. For one, he was still slightly pissed at Speed for telling Eric about Anya-only Horatio and Alexx knew of her which was one of the reasons she had stayed safe so far here in Miami. The rest of the unease he felt was coming from the fact that since now Eric knew about Anya, everything else was going to come out, making the shields he'd placed around him that much harder to keep up. Calleigh would not be happy with him. He had opened up a bit to her recently and keeping something as big as a daughter from her would hurt her greatly, but at least she couldn't be too hurt since she wasn't the only one he hadn't told.

"Ry, would you mind too terribly coming to get a beer and some dinner with me and Eric after work? He wants an explanation and you know you could use a few more friends around here besides me and Alexx."

The dark brown eyes were worse than a kicked puppy's, Ryan surmised. You couldn't say no to them, nor could you lash out at the person behind them.

"I suppose. Just no embarrassing stories, alright? I'm tired enough as it is," he sighed, shaking his head wearily.

The grin he got was almost worth the headache he felt starting to pound at his temple. This was going to be a long day. . .


	2. Origins

_**Chapter 2- Childhood Memories**_

_**Rating: **_PG-13

_**Author:**_ grnidshrk

Though neither knew it, both Ryan and Eric were anxious about the meal they were about to share together. Not just because of the upsetting secrets which Speed had purposefully spilled, but because their relationship was now in a fog. Ryan didn't know where the truth placed him with Eric, and Eric wondered what Ryan had really gone through in life-what other secretes he kept from the rest of them. Time seemed to move both too fast and too slow for the two befuddled CSI's, both dragging their feet yet wanting to have the day done with as soon as possible. They ignored each other with a strong amount of determination, causing Calleigh to wonder if they had fought, and Alexx, Horatio, and Speed to look on bemusedly. Natalia and Valera just cast confused glances their way.

Finally, after Theodore Daniels admitted to the murder of Miranda Jacobs, and Eric arrested a set of twins by the names of Tony and Timothy Anderson for murdering a couple that had stumbled into their chop shop, all three men were free for the night. Speed grinned at the two grown men in front of him subconsciously fidgeting as they stood next to each other, waiting for him to arrive.

"Alright boys!" He exclaimed, causing both to jump and glare daggers at him. "We're going to be eating at the Cajun Spice. Zurie said she would save us a table near the back so we can have some privacy."

Eric looked at Speed curiously; he had never heard of the place before.

"It's a Cajun bar and grill, one of Ryan and Adina's Favorites." Eric's face became even more clouded with confusion-he had met Adina, Speed's long-time girlfriend, but he didn't know how exactly she knew Ryan.

Seeing confusion on his coworker's face, Ryan asked," What's wrong Eric? It looks like something is bugging you more than this was earlier."

Eric stared at Ryan and then Speed for a moment before answering. "I've met Adina before, she's Speed's girlfriend. What I don't understand is how you know her. I know you guys are friends, but neither of you talk of each other so that leads me to believe that you aren't that close, so what's going on?"

Ryan sighed. The three of them were now in Speed's car heading towards the bar. Half of him was resigned to the fact that he would have to answer Eric's question now, and the other half wished that Eric had waited until they all had alcohol in their systems so that it would be easier to lower his defenses. He sighed once more before diving head first into the dynamics of his family.

"Okay, well, Adina's my younger sister. I have two other older siblings as well," he started, cutting Eric off before he could stop him, and before he lost any more of his nerve. "Damian is the oldest with Angelica close behind him. We all met at Mama Ro's house; she fostered the four of us at the same time. We all became a family and in the end adopted each other. So legally we ARE family, even if not by blood."

Eric contemplated Ryan, part of the puzzle clicking together. Adina snickering behind him as he complained about his difficult coworker, her telling him to be softer on the guy; he wasn't as he seemed. She, while guarding their connection, had tried to make him understand, or at least take an unbiased look at her older brother. The thought made him wince.

"Doesn't Adina think I'm a jerk?"

Ryan's eyebrows knitted together. "Why would she think that?"

"Because, er, I've . . . complained rather loudly to her and Speed about how much of a stuck up rich brat I thought you were."

Speed laughed at that and Ryan had a sardonic grin on his face. "I think that's my fault, Eric, if I didn't act that way and gave you information about my family and home life you wouldn't have thought that. If anything, she probably thinks I'm the idiot for keeping such secrets from those I've come to care about as family, too."

Speed snorted. "She's not the only one, Ry."

Ryan glared at Speed and reached over to smack him in the head. "Shut it 'Timmy,'" he emphasized, causing Eric to snicker. Not many people called Tim by his first name, let alone a variation of it.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Eric watched Ryan out of the corner of his eye. He was beginning to piece together more of the puzzle seeing his co-worker outside the workplace. He was more relaxed-still slightly on guard, but you could see the tension was no longer in his shoulders. His face wasn't set in the perpetual frown Eric had likened to Ryan's face; it was as if something had lifted the mask off of his co-worker and everything could now be seen. Walking into the Grill, they were greeted by an African American female with her long hair partially tied up, the rest hanging down her back to end at her waist. Zurie had that enticing Cajun accent, but she had the look of a sibling about her that caused all three men to cower under her gaze. Eric watched as Ryan was scolded by her for not eating properly and Speed was told to take better care of himself AND his weapons. Both followed the bossy woman with their heads bowed, Eric snickering behind them.

Zurie looked at him just before he sat down next to the other two, her eyes piercing. "And you, you are one of the ones that are makin' it so hard for my youngest one to make himself a home at that job a' his. You betta' star' actin like an actu' coworker 'n friend or so help me, my ancestors will feel my ire n' help with my revenge!"

Eric's eyes widened, and he bowed his head. She didn't even know him and she had cowed him just as well as Alexx! As all three men promised to abide by her reprimands, so she looked at them all and stated she would get them their dinners. Eric just stared after her, wondering how she knew what they wanted to eat exactly.

Speed was the one to speak up, clearing the confusion. "You don't order here when you're family. I still swear the woman really does have voodoo powers, 'cause she always knows what to get people to eat. So I figure since she left without askin' you she knows what's best for you."

Eric looked from Ryan to Speed. Ryan was nodding his head sagely, and Speed had the same amused face as earlier on. He decided to just relax. Neither of them looked worried or even stressed, in fact Ryan seemed to almost relax more here than he did outside. Trusting the two men with him and the scary Cajun woman, he sat back in his seat.

After a few beers, dinner was brought out. They dug in, Eric finding that the dish Zurie had mad him had hit the spot. Their immediate hunger abated, half of the large meals gone, Ryan cleared his throat.

"So . . . Is there anything you really want to know or ask about?" He figured he was relaxed enough and in a familiar enough setting to divulge anything Eric was curious about. Eric chewed thoughtfully on the cod that was the his main course for a moment before answering.

"Not really, you explained quite a bit earlier, but I have to know . . . Why are you so protective of yourself and your family?"

Ryan sighed and stared into his beer. The foam swirled around the glass as he tipped it to and fro. "When I was younger, before I met what I now consider my family, life was hard. Being in the system sucks, Eric, especially if you are more a brain than a thug. Having OCD, being mute, and absorbing anything academic brought me to the attention of the more physically inclined orphans and kids whose parents had to relinquish them for some reason or another. I was a prime target; so you learn, the less they know about you, the less you can get hurt. This went for going to new schools and prospective adopters that came around; the less you let them know, the less disappointment you face when they don't come back for you. Eventually, I began to talk again, but only when I absolutely had to. It was shortly after that, I was sent to Mama Ro's. She usually took in the ones that had the most trouble in foster care or just in the system in general. There I met Damien and Angelica; Adina didn't come to live there until about a year later.

"Even so, it took us all a while to become close. None of us were particularly willing to get close to anyone. But, Mama Ro, she. . . Well, she just has a habit of making people feel welcome and at home in her presence. We became a family, we learned about her history and how she and Ron met. . ."

Eric stopped him there. "I thought that he was your real Uncle?" he asked, slightly confused.

Ryan shook his head. "Nope, Ron was taken from Ireland just like Mama Ro had been taken from Zimbabwe. They were in a child slavery ring that was broken up; they've been together, like brother and sister, ever since."

Eric just stared at Ryan. He had an odd family, that was for sure, but looking at him it also explained a lot of the things Eric knew about him. Their melting pot of a family was unconventional, but it seemed to have given Ryan the stability he needed to grown up as a decent human being that some didn't get when they were orphaned or abandoned. But this brought up what was sure to be a painful and hard question to answer.

"Ryan. . . What happened to your real family?" Eric knew the answer wasn't going to be good when Speed tensed and Ryan stared into his drink before gulping it all down and calling Zurie over for a full bottle of the best tequila she had. When the bottle and three shot glasses were placed in front of them Ryan sighed. "I'm not telling this story unless I'm able to drown myself in tequila, Eric, and if that upsets you, ya ain't hearin' it."

The accent threw Eric off; he'd never heard the Bostonian talk like he had just come from that state. Speed knew, though, that in times of great emotional stress or when remembering painful things, it sounded as if Ryan had just come off the Boston streets themselves. Eric nodded that it was fine and Ryan began.

"Before I met the rest at Mama Ro's and we changed our names, my surname was Darrow. My father," Ryan downed a shot here, "was a bastard. He fooled around on my mother, beat us, drank, raped her, and then left to do business. I don't know what else he did, but I do know that after he raped and killed her, and tried to kill me, he was sent to a federal penitentiary. Apparently, they were able to pin more than just rape, murder, and attempted murder on him after a little investigation. I never asked; I didn't want to know how much of a monster he was outside our lives, I already knew how much of one he was inside of mine. There is a reason I don't like to touch or be touched, Eric, and that's it. I was five when my ma died and he was sent there; before that, the only caring hand I knew was when ma patched me up. There were no caring people in that place they sent me to, just older kids that were as hard as the streets made them or others far more meek than I. I might not have spoken but I didn't take their shit lying' down-I fought back 'sbest I could, I was done with bein' another's punching bag." By now, Ryan had drunk half the bottle himself, Eric and Speed sharing only about a quarter of it.

Eric had to admit he was shocked, and as he made the mental note to look up all inmates with the last name of Darrow, he felt like an ass after the way he treated Ryan and for assuming that he'd had a rich father. It was like one giant reality check. When dealing with criminals he knew that they were always hiding something, but he had never thought to look at his friends and co-workers as if they were as well. "Everybody Lies." The quote from a show Marisol watched, House M.D., came unbidden from the back of his mind.

The thought made him wince. If they didn't lie, they omitted. Everyone did, even himself; he'd just never thought to apply it to everyone and not just criminals. Watching as Ryan sat and stared at the shot glass, no longer downing the tequila as if it were water, he felt shame. Shame in suddenly being grateful for his family, for treating Ryan horribly, and for not seeing the signs of someone who had been abused in his co-worker, no-friend. Seeing the look that was descending on Eric face, Ryan began to talk again.

"It was nice meeting someone who understood-Mama Ro, she and Ron had gone through some similar shit when being held by those damned traders. She didn't try to pry like the state psychologists did, she would just hold me and say it was okay to cry. I hadn't, not since the day they buried my ma, and the release helped more than talkin' ever coulda' done. And after a few months, I began talking more, and I got to know Damien and Angelica, we got close. Then Adina came, and she was like me, a brain, someone who also soaked up academics. And the four of us, well together we just kinda understood. We were at each other's backs, like guardians if one was hurt, physically or emotionally, the other three would be the support they needed. Mama Ro and Uncle Ron, they were there for us all, too."

Speed smiled. Ryan was getting to the good parts of his life and the dark shadows that had lurked behind his eyes while speaking of his father, the foster care system, and the orphanage were begining recede. He watched as Ryan told stories of his childhood with the other three, of learning how to pick locks, get out of handcuffs, and crack safes from Ron, how to cook and speak Swahili from Rona. And Eric began to lose the look of shame as he laughed at the antics of Ryan and his siblings, no longer feeling the despair he felt of learning about Ryan's childhood. The only other person besides himself at the crime lab that knew of Ryan's history was Alexx-even Horatio only knew about Anastasia. Having more people know would, hopefully, get Ryan to open up to the rest of the world and not just his family.

Zurie watched from the shadows, serving people and keeping her boys supplied with drinks. Ryan needed this, she knew, needed someone who would understand and love him like he should be. The boy only had family, but he needed more, they all did, and slowly they were becoming accustomed to the world outside of their own. So when she was sure all three men had had more than enough for the night, she called a cab and led all three men there, practically pushing them into it.. She gave them Ryan's address and could only hope they managed to get inside his home before being picked up for being drunk in public. They were her boys, her brothers, even Eric now, and hopefully they could take care of each other through their problems.


	3. His Saving Graces

Chapter 3- His Saving Graces

Bright sunlight assaulted Eric Delko's eyes when he woke up the next morning. He groaned as he rolled over and buried his face into Ryan's neck, inhaling the musk and sweat scent of his co-worker. One arm lay over Ryan's waist, grasping a hip, and one leg wedged comfortably between Ryan's own, he relaxed. This had happened in so many of his dreams after some very loud and sweaty fun that he couldn't comprehend the reality. And though he'd deny it with his last breath, it was far more comfortable and pleasant than he'd dreamed.

Eric's eyes snapped open at the realization that this was real and not a dream, only to shutter closed right away as his head reminded him what they'd done last night. It felt as though there were lumberjacks trying to split his skull in two. He waited until the pounding had receded, then slowly opened his eyes again to look at the man he was draped across. He knew he should be more alarmed about what may happen if Ryan were to wake up, but he was too comfortable to care.

Ryan wasn't really snoring, just emitting a quiet snuffling noise that was soft, like a purr. He looked . . . innocent? No, just content; like a cat who was napping in the sun. He was like a large cat who owned all the space around him, Eric mused idly. The man was sprawled out, arm had wrapped around Eric's waist when he'd rolled and his right hand was on his own toned stomach, inches above the trail of hair leading to his boxers.

Eric remembered vaguely that they had stumbled out of the cab Zurie had shoved them into the previous night, trying to walk straight and keep their stomach contents. Finally they made it safely into the small but nicely trimmed house Ryan owned. They had gotten in on the third try; Ryan, deciding to fuck the keys, had picked the lock. Eric and Speed found it hilarious that while he couldn't open the door with his own keys while drunk, he could still pick the lock.

Ryan had grumbled at them that he was more adept at breaking in then he'd ever been at getting in the lawful way, had been since Ron had taught him when he was younger. It had gotten to the point that Mama Ro didn't even get him a key when he was old enough to come and go by himself, just let him pick the locks.

He had maneuvered the other two towards the kitchen, and while he wrestled with the bottle of aspirin, Eric and Speed had found the glasses to wash the pills down with.

That done, the three had moved towards the most comfortable room in the house to sleep. Speed had immediately shucked his pants, claimed a pillow and a corner of the bed all to his own. Ryan and Eric had shrugged at each other, stripped down to their own underwear and climbed in, avoiding Speed and slept, not worrying about how close they were or the repercussions it would have in the morning.

Speed, Eric noticed, was still on the other side of Ryan, his arms wrapped around a long body pillow of Ryan's like it was Adina. He had a goofy grin on his face and was snuggled into it. Probably, Eric mused, thinking it was Adina's breasts he was resting on.

Eric snorted softly at the sight. He closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his nose against Ryan's neck. He was comfortable and who cared if he was snuggled up against Ryan. It might fuel the fantasies he might deny to the outside world, but he was a good looking guy – one of the many Eric had dreamt of.

Ryan had stared in his dreams the most because of his slim build, beautiful hazel eyes, and his fiery nature. Now that the knowledge that his bold, socially awkward, and aggressively defensive co-worker wasn't as stuck up as Eric and Calleigh had believed, it meant that they could be possibly more than fantasies, possibly more than just friends; that is if Ryan swung that way.

Ryan was far from stuck up; he just had some problems that caused him to keep people at arm's length. He had issues that they hadn't, and in some cases, still, didn't know about. Ryan was a lot more comfortable than many he'd seen go through the same thing. That kind of history messed with you for life.

The things he'd learned last night would probably have helped them in the beginning – like Ryan's father. If Calleigh had known, she might not have been so hard on him about her own fathers' case. Family was, admittedly, a touchy subject to all of them. Between Horatio and Raymond, Marisol's cancer, Calleigh's dad, and Natalia's ex husband, they all had problems they'd rather anyone not know about.

He closed his eyes, letting everything go to contemplate later, and allowed himself to drift away; unaware that Speed had woken at his snort and watched him snuggle into Ryan's arms.

Speed smiled. With the truth about Ryan in the open, hopefully he and Eric would fall into each others' arms. Of course, it would more than likely be more complicated knowing how their luck ran. And Anya still had to meet and like Eric or else all was doomed. Stifling a groan he untangled himself from the long body pillow and blankets tethering him to the bed. He needed to check the time, call Adina, Zurie, Alexx, and Mama Ro, and use the toilet; not necessarily in that order.

After the results of a massive conspiracy by the many women in their lives, Eric and Ryan were finally on the same page . . . or at least in the same chapter. Speed paused in his journey to the bathroom. He needed to get coffee. Breakfast, too; his mind was coming up with weird analogies because of the fuzziness leftover from last night. He winced when he thought of the hangover Ryan was going to have. Because of the information he'd had to share, Ryan had drunk the most tequila of any of them, on top of the beer. Making his way to the kitchen from the bathroom, Speed set about making the good stuff Ryan had.

As the Hazelnut and Cinnamon blend brewed he called Adina and told her of the progress, leaving her to pass it on to the others. He had a small headache, not as large as it could have been due to the aspirin and water they had all drunk before passing out, still he got out the pain relievers and left out some for his friend and brother-in-law. Adina had said she was bringing breakfast over, as well as Anastasia, which meant Eric would meet her soon. But for that to happen he had to rouse the two lovebirds from their nest.

As Speed stalked his prey, Ryan woke. The pounding of his heartbeat was echoed behind his eyelids and in his brain. The steady pulse of pain caused Ryan to groan, he turned his head, trying to run from the pain, and nuzzled the scalp that was lying in the crook of his neck. He was unaware of his mischievous brother-in-law watching them, holding a camera and taking a video feed of the whole interaction-including Eric burrowing further into Ryan with a very loud and contented moan.

Eric sighed. He was comfy, but the pressure on his bladder was becoming more and more insistent. As he opened his eyes he looked up at the man he was currently wrapped around. Ryan was also opening his eyes; a quiet snickering from the door having roused them both from sleep. Eric and Ryan blinked owlishly at the man in the bedroom doorway, not quite comprehending what was so funny through the dull throbbing that ailed them both.

"Why don't the two of you untangle from each other and take some aspirin," Speed said with a grin. "Coffee is going in the kitchen and Adina and Anya are bringing breakfast by in about an hour. I figured that would be enough time for you both to begin to feel human again."

Neither man noticed the camera being hidden by Speed as they maneuvered their way out of bed, Ryan swearing in what Eric assumed to be Swahili. As Eric made his way clumsily to the master bath, Ryan went to the kitchen—aspirin, Ryan decided, was God's gift to foolish men like himself.

An hour later found all three showered and clothed in pajama pants and t-shirts, since their clothes from the night before smelled of alcohol. The coffee and aspirin had done wonders, so none of them felt as horrible as they could have, given the amount they consumed the previous night. Speed and Ryan were sitting in the living room as Eric snooped through Ryan's belongings, getting stories of how some items had been obtained or what was happening in a picture.

Eric stopped at a frame that held nine photos; he picked it up and began to study each picture. They were all professionally done, that much he was certain, but everyone was different—there was nothing to tie any of them together genetically save for two people. He could hazard a guess as to who most of the people were, except for the identities of the two people he was sure were related to each other. Showing it to Ryan and Speed he questioned, "So who's who?"

Ryan smiled, "Well, as I'm sure you know, that little girl is Anastasia, or Anya. The boy," here he pointed to a black haired, blue-eyed boy on the side opposite of Anya, is Remington, my older sister Angelica's son. She adopted him when his mother—a close friend of hers—died during childbirth. The woman between them is Mama Ro."

Eric took the frame from Ryan once more, seriously studying the woman who had helped Ryan and become a mother to him and the others.

Her skin was far darker than any other person he'd seen. She had long hair that was pulled into a braid at her back and was in a light tan dress. As an older woman she had wrinkles at the corner of her eyes and mouth, and the shiny skin of old scars reflected light here and there. She wore them proudly; unashamed of what she had gone through in life. Despite the strength she exuded, you could see the warmth and gentleness that radiated far stronger from her heart. In all, despite her worn appearance she gave him the same feeling his mother and Alexx did.

Ryan smiled softly, his fingers reaching out to trace Mama Ro's face. "Alexx reminds me a lot of her, it's one of the reasons I tried to befriend her first amongst you all—she felt the most familiar, besides Speed, but he doesn't count."

Speed shouted out indignantly and Ryan and Eric laughed. Eric passed the frame back to its owner.

"You already know Adina," Ryan pointed to the picture of a young woman being held by Speed, she had pale skin peppered with freckles, jade green eyes, and light brown hair that had been kissed by the sun.

"These two," he pointed to the picture next to it, "are Charlie and Margaret Eppes."

At Eric's confused stare Ryan elaborated more.

"When Angelica and Damien were looking for colleges to go to, we visited almost all the schools along the east coast one summer until they decided to finally just go to NYU. We went down to Princeton in New Jersey, seeing as Damien wanted to go to a good medical school, and while we were there we met Margaret and Charlie. Charlie was a lot like me and Adina—a genius—'cept instead of code like Adina, he understands math and logic."

"Genius?" interrupted Eric. Ryan blushed.

"Well, I'm not near as smart as Adina or Charlie—their IQs are in the 200 range—mine's around 180, 190. It depends on what's going on around me. Adina's smarts lie in computers, Charlie's in math, and mine is in chemistry."

Eric stared at him. "Chemistry?"

Speed snorted, "You haven't seen him break down formulas, or figure out the molecular structure of a compound and how it would react to certain chemicals. Trust me, his mind makes leaps and bounds that it would take the computer and hour and a half to do, in five minutes. Bastard could probably make a bomb out of regular household items and live to tell the tale, without anyone the wiser. Add that to the stuff Ron taught him, and I'm surprised he's a CSI and not a freelance bomber or something; he could make a far better living that way."

Ryan grinned, "You know my reasons. I may be a thief, but I'm not someone who would do something so amoral as to blow something up just to make a good living. Besides, you know I don't advertise it 'cause then H would bug me. It's bad enough he calls me 'Mr. Wolfe' all the time and ignores most of the work I do, I don't want those baby blues staring me down and wondering if I ever made one of the bombs he had to disarm once upon a time. I mean, yeah I could have—and I might have made a small one once—but it leaves a big mess and it makes me twitchy. That would have given me away from the start if I did it for an occupation, stupid OCD."

This caused the other two men to crack up, and after waiting for them to calm down, he continued, "Anyways, since we met them, Margaret had become like an aunt—like Ron is an uncle—to the four of us and Charlie became another sibling; there are five of us really, Charlie just kept his own last name. It was nice, for Adina and I, to make a friend who understood what it was like to be as smart as we are. Because of our intelligence, not to mention our childhoods, it was rather hard to make friends. He had the same trouble and I think Aunt Maggie liked that he finally had people who understood, people his own age to play with and talk with without having to worry if they understood or not."

"You said had become, what happened to, uh, Mrs. Eppes?" Eric questioned.

Ryan smiled sadly, "She died of cancer a few years ago. Poor Charlie, she was the only one of his family who really understood him. And when the reality of her dyeing hit him he retreated into his math. When she finally did die, none of us got to go to the funeral, neither Mr. Eppes nor Don, Charlie's brother, contacted us, we only learned that she had passed when Charlie showed up on Mama Ro's front step emaciated and pale. He hadn't eaten or slept much since they found out that they could save her. We all miss her; she didn't care if we weren't her children. She was a lot like Mama Ro and Alexx that way; always mothering us."

Eric watched as Ryan stared at the picture wistfully. His friend had gone through so much. After a somber moment Ryan began again.

"That," Ryan pointed to the African American male in the top-left of the frame, "is Damien. He's the oldest of us and the one who met Speed and brought him into the family. Ron is in the middle picture and here on the right is Angelica."

Eric contemplated each individual picture and then the group photo at the bottom.

"Okay, I understand who's who and how you met Speed, but how did Speed and Adina get together? I mean, I know how old you are, Ry, and she's younger than you, which makes her . . . 7 years younger than you, Speed?"

Speed had the decency to blush as Ryan began to snicker.

"It wasn't really Speed's choice. Adina. . . Adina is very opinionated and forceful when she wants to be. And if she wants something, she'll go through hell to get it if she has to. Adina and I came to college not too long after Damien and Angelica did, and since Speed had to work to support himself it took him about eight years to get his Masters. We knew him for about that long, too. Adina had hinted and tried but . . . well, let's just say Speed fought it until she was eighteen. She jumped him herself—and they've been together ever since."

Speed sat there grumbling as Ryan smirked at him and Eric cracked up. There was a knock at the door and Ryan, being the calmest of the three, answered it, only to fall back as a little coffee and cream colored blur launched itself into his arms. Multilingual babble proceeded to spew from the now recognizable Anastasia Wolfe. The six year old talked about everything from the movies she and Adina had watched to the food they had eaten the night before all in a rush that caused Ryan to smile in a way Eric had never seen before.

Adina walked in after the little girl, arms laden with bags, to scene of Speed with a scowl on his face, Eric with awe in his eyes as he stared at his co-worker, and Ryan laughing and asking his little angel questions about their "girl's night out", oblivious to the look Eric was giving him. She placed the bags down on the dining room table with a smile and settled herself into Speed's lap, questioning him in Swahili how the night went.

"_How'd it go?__ Ryan do ok?"_

Speed smiled and responded in kind, "_He did great;__ got a little drunk and he couldn't get his keys in the door when the night was over, but he's fine. Eric took it a lot better than I thought, the two of them fell asleep right next to each o__ther and woke up wrapped around the other. They were both so hungover neither noticed, I think. I got pictures though."_

Adina grinned and raised her eyebrow, "_If he couldn't get his key in the door how'd you guys get in?"_

Here, Ryan interrupted the two of them, "You both know I can hear and understand you right?" They tried to look reasonably innocent, causing Ryan and Eric to snort.

"I picked the lock, that's how. And you, mister, are going to destroy whatever photos you took of Eric and I this morning. Don't even try, Timothy Speedle, you aren't innocent and those innocent puppy eyes won't work on me at all." Ryan glared at the scruffy man while carrying his daughter over to a plush chair. Sinking into it he turned to Eric, "Eric, this is my daughter. Anya, this is a good friend of mine, Eric."

Dark Chocolate eyes peered from behind thick lashes at Eric, a stray, ebony curl coming to bounce in front of her face. Eric smiled at the young child.

"Hey Anya, it's nice to meet you. Your dad has told me a lot about you."

A soft, shy 'hi' was the only response he was given so he asked, "Did you and Adina make breakfast or did you guys go buy something?"

He was given a big smile and she began to breathlessly explain the mess she and Adina had made creating their breakfast, mostly in English but with a couple of Spanish and Swahili words thrown in as well.

Ryan couldn't contain his grin as he interpreted the words Eric didn't know, imagining the mess Adina and Speed were going to have to clean later.

A large growl echoed through the room, causing Eric to blush—drinking always left him starving the morning after. Anya smiled even bigger and jumped off of her father's lap to take Eric's hand and drag him to the table, the others following and laughing at the exuberance the child showed and the shock on Eric's face.

Ryan put out utensils and plates for everyone as Anya pulled out the food with Eric's help, describing what they HAD made to be eaten and not just the mess they had created. Eric couldn't help falling in love with the little girl right then; she both brightened the room and removed any last walls Ryan had placed around himself. He could see why Ryan wouldn't want anyone to know about her—he wouldn't be willing to share Anya either.


	4. Fear and Shame

Chapter 4

Shortly after breakfast Adina dropped Speed off at the Cajun Spice and took Eric to pick up his car. The drive was silent. Too many secrets had been exposed and too many assumptions destroyed. Thoughts and regrets bounced around inside Eric's head, but it wasn't until they parked outside the lab that he cracked.

"How come you or Speed never said anything?"

Adina sighed. Her family was so complicated . . . True, Eric's own family had its problems but hers were bigger.

"Ryan . . . Is still skeptical of all of you. He's waiting for the other shoe to fall. It's only because of how long we've all been together that we're as tight knit as we are. In the beginning, with Speed and I, I pursued him because he was safe—I knew he wouldn't hurt me."

Eric watched her stare out the window, eyes sad.

"It became more, far more easily than I thought it would and I found that I really do love him. But Ryan has been hurt too many times. Like a kicked dog, he's learned to bite before being bitten, which is the reason for most of his hostility. Telling you would have betrayed his trust and he might've pulled away from us again."

"Again?"

"His dad escaped once and found him, just a few months after I got there. He was taken from school—it wasn't pretty, Eric. That bastard made him revert to how he was at the beginning. Mama Ro had to help—we all did, but the scars that man left were more than just physical. His dad is probably the only one who can convince Ryan he's weak and useless.

"He _had _convinced him of that. He fell into a catatonic state; all he did was science, chemistry mostly. Hell, he broke down the amount of elements and molecules in the adult human male, their composition and make up, plus more. It was amazing but also scary 'cause we didn't know how to get him out; he ate only if we forced him, didn't interact with us at all, just did what he was doing and ignored everything else. After two weeks when he was too weak to do anything, his body pushed to the limit, we managed to get through to him and were able to help. Despite all that, how far he's come, he's still the most fragile and skittish of us. To hurt him by telling his secrets without his permission would destroy him completely."

"I've fallen into something similar and so has Charlie. It's actually normal for people like us to fall into trances like that, where normal things can't reach us, and our bodies don't matter. Getting the information out, getting our minds to stop constantly running, to empty and make things silent. Shock causes it mostly; emotional overloads we're not adapted to handling like normal people. But Anya ties Ryan to the real world. She makes it harder for him to slip into it. Speed is my anchor and Aunt Maggie was Charlie's tie, but lately he's fallen into that trance a few times. He's trying, though."

Eric sat back and pondered some of Ryan's past reactions, times where he worked, silent and slightly frenzied, eyes glazed but everything done correctly, not hearing anything spoken to him—they had been Ryan's private freak outs, something none of them could understand.

"Alright . . . This is a lot to process, Adina," said Eric finally.

"Thanks. I'm not angry, but Calleigh might be, Horatio, too."

Adina smiled," Well, maybe we just have to introduce everybody. Mama Ro's birthday is coming up and she wants to come here and see where we live."

They had arrived at Eric's car by now. He smiled and got out, walking to it and waving back to Adina.

* * *

Shortly after Adina left with Eric and Speed, Alexx came over to Ryan's house.

Anya was taking a bath and Ryan was cleaning up the breakfast mess, so Alexx stood behind him, knowing he had allowed himself into his version of a freak out, mechanically moving through his OCD-induced cleaning. All of a sudden Ryan froze and began to shake slightly. He braced himself on the counter and after the shaking subsided and he relaxed she knew he was back in the real world and out of his "Mental Chem Lab."

She knew that you couldn't get through to him when he was in there. Just like you couldn't reach Adina in the "Gray matter database" or Charlie in "Numbers-ville."

All three of them had been granted nicknames when they fell into their respective catatonic states, courtesy of their siblings.

Quietly she tried to speak to him, not to startle him.

"Baby?"

Ryan turned to her," Alexx . . . Do you . . . Was it . . . Right to tell Eric those things?"

The uncertainty in his eyes caused a pang of compassion to pierce her heart. Despite the brave front he'd put on for Speed and Eric, he was scared. He had been hurt too many times in his life to be able to open himself that way without the fear of disappointment and rejection.

"Oh, Baby, of course it was right. He's your friend now. After all you've both been through together, telling him has more than likely just cleared the misconceptions he has about you. It will let the two of you build a better friendship, maybe even more."

Alexx pulled Ryan towards her and held him—the youngest of her CSI children hardly ever let himself be this vulnerable and he needed the comfort.

Ryan tucked his head into her shoulder, absorbing the warmth and stability he currently needed.

Just outside the entry to the kitchen a clean and still slightly damp Anya watched her daddy. She knew he was scared and she knew why. He didn't have many friends and he was scared that this Eric wouldn't like him.

But, her daddy had told her that facing your fears is what made you brave, and her daddy had been brave cause he was scared of the ones named Horatio, Calleigh, and Eric. Maybe now he wouldn't be so scared of Eric, 'cause he was a nice man. Maybe a hug would make him feel less scared, too.

When small arms wrapped around his legs, Ryan let go of Alexx and bent to hold his daughter.

Anastasia was his world. A constant that would always be a guiding star out of his nightmares. Hopefully, he'd be able to weather the storm he saw on the horizon with her by his side.

* * *

Instead of going home, Eric went to his mother's house. The truths made known to him last night and this morning had made him more appreciative of what he had. His mothers rules and the stability they'd given him when he was growing up were now shed in a different light.

When Evita Delko noticed her son staring at her from the doorway of the living room, she couldn't identify the emotion in his eyes. She started to worry when he walked up silently and enfolded her into his arms, burying his face into her shoulder.

"Querido? Are you all right?"

Eric shook his head.

"Mom . . . I feel . . . ashamed and stupid. I judged a friend without even knowing him. I was horrible to him and Speed . . . God, Speed is his brother and I hated him for taking Speed's place while he was in the hospital. And his life has been so hard and his daughter, she's beautiful, innocent, and sweet and I just could never have seen him with kids, not with how he is at work. How could I be so mean to someone who's so innocent? Someone who just wants to not get hurt."

Evita held her son tight to her.

"Are you talking about Ryan?"

Eric pulled back from a bit, just enough to face his mother.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Querido, mí hijo, Speed is like a son to me as well. He and Adina have told me the bare basics about her family, even though I do not know them personally.

"I know how you are with that boy; you complain and pick on him more than anyone else you've ever been with. You needed this, to see the young man Adina loves as her brother away from your job and all that has happened there."

"You knew about what Speed was going to do?"

"Sí, Marisol and I both contributed to the coup staged against you. The rest was taken care of by Alexx and Ryan's family."

Evita led him to sit on the couch.

"Querido, we love you both, but you need to discard the beliefs you had about him. And he needs to learn to trust your team. You bring out emotions in him , now you just have to make them positive emotions."

Eric hugged his mother close again, thinking about what she had just said.

It was true that he brought out emotions in Ryan more than any of the others. But Ryan brought them out in him as well. He'd noticed the reaction he had to him. Maybe with all the revelations lately they could bring out positive emotions in each other

Evita held her son tightly before she got up to return to her chores.

Hopefully, she'd have another son to mother and annoy and a granddaughter to spoil if those two recognized what could happen between them.


	5. Comatose Horror

Monday morning dawned with trepidation for Ryan Wolfe.

He hadn't seen Eric since after they all had breakfast. His anxiousness and fear of what Eric's reactions would be once he thought about all that he learned about Ryan constantly bounced around his head.

The knowledge that Eric could now hurt him was constantly bombarding his resolve to not freak out and run—or worse yet, hide in his head.

He went through he and Anya's usual morning rituals with ease, his inner turmoil not causing him to deviate from the routine. Shower, get dressed, make breakfast, wake up Anya, feed Anya, get Anya dressed, have her brush her hair and teeth, gather her school supplies, gather his work supplies, and then out the door.

It wasn't until Ryan was standing in front of his locker—beaten up and dented as it were—that he realized he had somehow done everything without paying any attention.

Ryan really hoped he hadn't dressed Anya in anything to horrible.

* * *

Eric drove to work without anything jumping around in his head.

He had seriously thought about what he had learned Friday evening and Saturday morning.

He thought about how much Ryan must have been frightened when that nail had lodged in his eye when he had a little girl to get home to; thought about how much he really wanted to know the little girl and her daddy, to really know Ryan.

So, after he had thought, he had come to the conclusion that he would treat Ryan as he should have from the start and he would try to get to know the shy man who reacted to keep he and his child safe from the heartbreak he had once felt.

Coming into work he spotted Ryan's car, figuring he'd probably had Alexx help him retrieve it some time during their weekend.

He wondered how early he got in, if he was stuck in a trance from worry about how Eric would react after some time to think it over. Realizing that being completely nice would give the effect that he was giving Ryan pity, he decided to treat Ryan as he would Speed, with friendly sarcasm and mild ribbing.

Of course, Eric winced, he'd have to be careful around Horatio and Calleigh. It was Ryan who had to tell them anything, Anya was his to talk about.

Walking into the break room besides Calleigh, he noticed Ryan. He was staring out a window, mug in hand but no movement, not even a twitch to signal he'd notice Eric or Calleigh, who was sitting at the table with a muffin, come in.

It was actually normal behavior for Ryan every once in a while, something they had all learned to break him out of in the morning. But this time Eric knew what this really was, that it wasn't healthy for Ryan to escape into.

With his own cup of coffee in hand, Eric walked towards Ryan, not noticing Speed standing at the door watching or Calleigh leaving to finish testing a gun from yesterday's case.

"Hey, Morning Ryan."

No reaction, Eric bumped his shoulder against Ryan's—he blinked.

When eyes he was sure were focused were on him he spoke again, "Morning Ryan."

Ryan blinked again, seeming to be in shock, "Uh hi—I mean, Morning Eric."

"So ready for a day of murder and mayhem?"

"As much as I am any other day, you?"

Eric shrugged, noting speed in the door.

"I think we can handle it, what about you Speed? You think we can take down the lost and deprived and avenge the fallen?"

Ryan, who had been taking a drink of his coffee, choked on what he was swallowing and Speed laughed.

Ryan looked at him incredulously.

"Have you been watching movies or playing Fantasy themed games with Adina lately? It sounds like something that would come out of one of those."

None of the three noticed Horatio walk in to gather them with the rest for the newest case they had received. He looked on with subdued happiness as he watched the tense knot that used to be between Eric and Ryan partially unravel before his eyes.

"What?! No, I haven't . . . Well, I might have borrowed a 360 game or two, but . . ."

Ryan and Speed began to laugh as Eric sputtered his denial and Horatio smiled slightly, maybe things would go smoothly today.

* * *

The site was horrifyingly grisly.

It put them all on edge.

Three little girls, all with Black hair splattered with blood, dark brown almond shaped eyes glazed with death—their innards spread throughout the room as if someone had decided they were streamers and racist slurs written on the wall with their blood.

Eric knew something like this would stir everybody up something awful, but this hit way to close to who he had just met not a few days before—in the youngest girl's place he saw Anya.

Seeing that himself, he realized Ryan must as well, Speed too.

Eric closed his eyes and breathed, he had to put these girls to rest or they couldn't be free of it, nor could their families, if they didn't find their murderer.

He looked at Ryan and saw the carefully hidden anguish he had never noticed before.

Steeling himself he step forward and began to process the scene, Ryan behind him.

* * *

They had cleared the horrid scene and returned to the lab.

Eric was taking a break, the pictures starting to make his stomach revolt against him—looking at them first hand once was enough, looking at the photographic memories of it was just too much.

Walking past the trace lab he glanced through the wall to see Ryan still as a statue.

Slightly alarmed, Eric went inside, worried how Ryan was taking the case.

Everything was processed correctly, most presently being run through GC-MS machine by the computer, but Ryan stood staring outside his gaze unwavering and his posture stiff.

"Wolfe? Ryan? Hey, man, come on, you gotta get outta your head. Come on, lets go get some distance, yeah?"

Even though Ryan was mostly unresponsive, Eric still got a slight twitch which he took as assent to drag him out of the room. Knowing Alexx might know what to do, Eric dragged him down to the morgue, but didn't take him inside—it would have been to much, hell it was still too much even for him.

Eric knocked tentatively on the door, just barely poking his head through.

"Alexx? You in here?"

"Yes, baby, what do you need?"

"Um, do you think you can help me with Ryan?"

Alexx looked up from the poor girl she was examining.

"What happened, is he alright?"

"Er, well, physically he's fine, but he's walled himself into his own mind. Not that I blame him, one of the girls reminded me so much of Anya, it wasn't funny, and I only met her once. Not to mention the room made me want thrown up on principle alone . . ."

First he's babbling out of fear for Ryan and his own tumultuous emotions, then next thing Eric knew, he was being held in Alexx's arms.

"Oh, baby, I could have too just from what I've seen of those baby girls. That you aren't in a state like Ryan, astounds me."

Eric hugged her hard for a moment.

"I was for a little bit, I kept thinking it was Ryan's baby girl in there and even though I only just met Anastasia, she's special to me and not 'cause she's special to Speed, Adina, you, and Ryan, but because

she kinda stole my heart on Saturday and could probably talk me into just about anything."

Alexx chuckled as he let go and walked out of the room, her face becoming sad as she saw her youngest CSI baby.

He was a mess.

Eyes blank and hollow, chest barely moving to provide air to his lungs—Ryan sat as still as if he were petrified.

Alexx wrapped her arms around him and just held him, Eric not knowing what else to do set his hand on Ryan shoulder.

As he stood there, staring at Ryan in worry he didn't notice his hand straying from Ryan's shoulder to his head.

In fact he only realized it when Ryan let out a soft sigh and pushed in to Eric's hand because of the slow petting he was doing to him.

Eric pulled away from Ryan, a slight blush staining his cheeks—he hadn't meant to do that.

Ryan's eyes fluttered slightly as he came back to the land of the living, his eyes trailing over to Eric with a slight blush on his face.

Looking at his surroundings, Ryan winced.

"How long was I gone this time? I'm not in trouble, am I?"

Eric responded, alleviating Ryan's fears.

"Nah, no one else even noticed—it's got everybody like that a bit, I was too. This is just . . . Whoever could do this is sick and it just kinda hit us all where it counts. And I get why it caused you to zone. Hell, I froze just seeing the youngest girl—it was like my nightmares just came true, like it was Anya."

Ryan nodded, his gaze off in the far distance.

"Yeah. She was about the same height and age as Anya. It freaked me out pretty bad, I don't really remember processing the scene or anything after it. I remember looking at it first and then seeing you guys here. I hope I didn't screw things up to horribly."

Alexx sighed and held him to her again.

"Baby, if there is one thing I know about you it is that you don't make mistakes when you go into that state, you just do as you know—the science."

Eric nodded, "Yeah, besides, I checked, just to make sure. Everything was going smoothly and you had almost everything done all ready."

Ryan sighed, "Good, I'd hate to have to explain all of that to Horatio. Now we just have to wait for the results."

* * *

The results came back and they were able to arrest the three girls fanatic uncle Jared Pierson.

He'd had it in his head that the girls were unclean as his sister had married a man of another race.

Jared Pierson was a disgusting pig none of them wanted to have ever met or had the disgust to even know of.

Shift being over, they were all in the locker room, Ryan just getting out of the shower.

"So. . . Anyone need a drink after that?"

Calleigh's question rang out with her southern twang.

There were several agreements, except for Ryan, whose decline caused Horatio to Calleigh to prod at him.

"Come on Ryan, we all need a breather after that, it would do us all a world of good."

Speed and Eric glanced at each other, they knew where he wanted to go, hell they wanted to go there and see her and Adina too. But it would be nice to go out as adults and relax a little before they spoiled and adored the little girl for just being alive.

Ryan sighed and looked at Speed and Eric, both nodded encouragingly.

"Alright, but only for a little while, I want to go home and relax."

Calleigh's grin was almost luminous, "Great, lets all go to Shucker's (it's an actual bar in miami, I looked for one)."

They left one by one until only Ryan was left.

Buttoning up his shirt he looked at the hidden picture of his baby girl with a genuinely happy smile on his face.

After some drinks with his . . . Friends, he would go home and just hold her, that always made everything he saw on the job disappear.


	6. Burdens Halved

Eric watched Ryan as they all had drinks after the horrendous case of mutilated children.

It was not often that Ryan had drinks with the rest of the CSI's, but with Speed there with them, he knew that would more than likely be changing. None of them could afford to get as trashed as he, Speed, and Ryan had last Friday night, but the company helped push the atrocities they had seen out of their minds.

Still, his knowledge of Ryan now let him notice his slight discomfort in being around everyone longer than he had to.

Ryan shifted in his seat, he couldn't help but be slightly uncomfortable sitting in the bar as the others chatted amongst themselves.

Speed kept trying to drag him into the conversations but it was hard to contribute anything to them when the others knew nothing about his life or his family.

They all knew a lot about each others, or at least the basics, but he was the mystery.

Calleigh, noticing his discomfort as well, decided to probe Ryan with questions to decrease the mystery surrounding their youngest and often most volatile member.

Ryan swallowed hard when he noticed she was staring at him with a contemplative look in her eye, there were many things he was still not ready to let anyone else know about.

Having Speed reveal almost all the gritty details to Eric the Friday before was horrendous enough, Ryan didn't think he would be able to cope with the rest knowing when he was already as susceptible as he was to his mental sanctuary and prison.

"You and Speed seem awfully comfortable around each other, Ryan. Have you known Speed long?"

Ryan shifted his eyes to the far wall behind Calleigh, a frown pulling at his lips as he tried to figure out what to say.

He needn't have worried though, because Eric—surprisingly—saved him from answering.

"Speed met his older brother at NYU, apparently they've known each other for years."

Horatio's eyebrows lifted as he stared at the two mentioned. He hadn't known that, he'd known that Speed had come here after a friend's tragic death, but he didn't know about much else about his time before the lab.

Calleigh's mouth had dropped in shock, she hadn't stopped to think they had known each other that long, she had figured that they had met after Ryan got the job and he might have stopped him to ask for pointers.

"Really? Why didn't either of you say anything?"

Ryan Just shrugged at Calleigh's question, "It wasn't like it was important. Besides . . . I've never been comfortable with allowing other people knowing about my family and I."

"Oh, well what's your older brother's name and what does he do?"

Ryan shifted again, catching Speeds attention as he noticed his brother-in-law's stiff shoulders and eyes that kept moving to first his watch then the door and back, realizing that Ryan was about to flee, he answered for him.

"His name is Damien, he's a neurosurgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. Since I didn't want to go home to my family over breaks and was still getting my head back together, he dragged me home to his. The Wolfe's are rather, well eclectic, but they're good for people who've lost a lot. Mama Ro is willing to take anyone one in, I wasn't the first person she's done it too, she got to Ryan's pseudo-brother Charlie first, and I doubt I'll be the last with them. They are the one's that introduced me to Adina."

Calleigh blinked she hadn't expected that, sure Speed had been with Adina for as long as she'd known him, but she hadn't ever asked how they'd met.

Just before she went to ask that exactly, Horatio cut in.

"So you know Ms. Adina, too, Ryan? How did you meet her?"

Ryan smiled slightly and relaxed as he thought of the first time he met Adina—it'd been a rather . . . interesting experience, especially since he was still mostly mute.

Speed and Eric watched as his eyes gained a slight glaze as if he was looking at something far off, a small smile twisting at his mouth before it turned down slightly in sadness.

"Our meeting wasn't exactly the most joyous of times, H, it never is when you meet someone after they've just lost both of their parents. Even so, she was, well, like a hummingbird on too much sugar; she wouldn't shut up or hold still for five minutes after she placed in Mama Ro's house. Girl was nervous and couldn't hold her tongue, started chattering to anyone quiet enough for her to start into and unfortunately I was still mute, then. I almost freaked out the first time I met her but when I just didn't say anything back she started to talk slower and softer until she stopped and then she just started to cry and leaned on me and I had no idea what to do, but it worked."

Calleigh's eyes were wide and her mouth was open slightly as she processed what Ryan had said. They'd all known that Adina had no blood relatives, but she said she'd made her own family, and Ryan saying that he'd been there just after they had been killed and they had maintained a relationship of some sort that Ryan and his brother introduced her to speed was just . . . it was not what she expected and only led her to more questions.

Horatio looked at his youngest charge, worried slightly at the history he was learning. He'd investigated Adina's Mama Ro shortly after Speed had come onto the force, wanting to make sure the woman was what Adina had said and hadn't given her cause for grief.

He'd learned their last names in the process and given the information he had now was causing him to make some connections that he knew Calleigh didn't have the information to make.

Their Ryan had been in foster care.

He had been in foster care before Adina and had been mute for some unknown reason.

Horatio pushed his troubles to the back of his mind as Ryan continued.

"After a while she was one of the people who got me to start talking, along with Mama Ro. She connected with me in a way no one else could've, knew how I though better than anyone else—well besides Charlie—it was the catalyst that brought us all together."

Calleigh's voice was soft; quiet in a way that she had to ask the question, but didn't really want the answer.

"Brought who together, Ryan? Why were you at Mama Ro's house?"

Ryan froze, they could all see it. His face was blank, his posture stiff, and the grip he had on his beer white knuckled.

He still didn't relax, even when Speed answered for him.

"It's what brought Damien, Angelica, Ryan, and Adina together, Cal. He was living with her, too."

Ryan grunted as he clenched his eyes shut, memories that had been brought to the surface because of his and Eric's heart to heart Friday night floated through his mind's eye. Horatio and Calleigh just watched him until he let out a sigh, his posture didn't relax though and when he opened his eyes they were shuttered.

"I was living there, because my Dad in jail for killin' my ma and trying ta kill me. I'll see ya tomarrah, bye."

His abrupt departure startled Calleigh, but Horatio, Speed, and Eric understood—those thoughts were still painful, were still open and bleeding gashes that he'd hidden so well from everyone but family.

Seeing Anastasia at home making a mess of his kitchen with Adina after driving for an hour and a half after he left the bar was like a balm to the wounds Ryan had reopened—it re-grew the skin that kept it from causing more pain, however, it was thin. His shields on that topic had never been quite strong enough, never healed right; it was always in danger of re-opening.

It'd gotten better over the years, his siblings and his daughter helping to cauterize the nerves bared to the world, but there was so much left still left gaping, still bleeding with pain.

It'd helped telling Alex, and though he knew it was still healing he knew it had helped by telling Eric, seeing him understand after he had time to think. And when he'd finally feel up to it enough to tell Calleigh and Horatio the whole story he'd feel even better as long as they were supportive and not just giving him pity.

He couldn't handle pity, it angered him, sure he'd been through some shit in life—was still dealing with it—but he was a grown man with a daughter and was reasonably adjusted for all that he was and had happened to him.

He understood that the more people he told and the more he said it out loud, the more he accepted what he'd gone through and let it go. It helped, but it was so painful to relive it all again and again in each telling that he'd shied away from it for as long as he could.

As he kissed his Anya on the forehead and tasted one of her creations he smiled, really smiled, as he realized that the pain and the memories had been easier to push away, to acknowledge and move on to what was in front of him.

Psychology was a soft science, something that he Charlie, and Adina had a basic knowledge of because of their intellects. But, despite his disdain for his previous Doctors visits, he finally understood why they had told him he needed to finally get it all out.

He felt freer than he ever had and he could tell Adina could see the changes in him, that the smile was easier and his shoulders just a bit lighter, though she didn't say anything.

She just smiled and helped his daughter clean up before she left so he could get her ready for bed. As she left Adina kissed his cheek and hugged him whispering to him so softly he barely caught it.

"It gets even easier to carry as time goes by and the burden is halved with each telling, Ry."

And then she was gone and he had a little girl with frosting in her hair in his arms.


End file.
